I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
