he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My ATM looks so different sober.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
