I wanna passion pit in your ass
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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