Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just come out here and I will go home with you...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
