Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
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