He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
