Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize