Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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