So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So much Jack, so little girl.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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