We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
then he tried to convert me to islam
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
