I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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