I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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