I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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