I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We are two peas in an std pod
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
