I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
