it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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