drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
