sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
