i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize