they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize