Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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