i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
