i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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