so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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