Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
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