whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize