I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
