I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
