Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
