I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
