i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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