I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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