you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
