I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
