Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
