i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
