dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i drank out of a bidet.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
