you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
