How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
