I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
