i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize