like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
