That's intense
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
