Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
