I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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