so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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