I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
