what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize