You're a womanizer and a bitch.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
