based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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