She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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