BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
