you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
