The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
