i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
