The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
