How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize