oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
it's like iHOP with fire
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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